Why are you here?
Are you listening?
Can you hear what I am saying?
I am not here. I’m not listening
I’m in my head and I’m spinning.
((That’s a beautiful quote. Hope you like it! I made up a name for your person, hope that’s okay. Sorry it took so long too. :C ))
You had accepted Nick Fury’s request the second you heard Bruce was involved. Doctor Banner and you had known each other since before the incident that changed him into what he preferred calling “The Other Guy.” Afterward, he disappeared after a quick goodbye. It had hurt, but you knew he had never been good with goodbyes.
But now that the most powerful object in the universe had been stolen by a hostile party, Nick Fury had brought him back to help find it.
“The Tesseract is deadly in his hands.” Mr. Fury had explained. “We need you and Dr. Banner on this case in order to find it. I was told that you have a vacation to go on with your brother.”
“That’s correct.” you had replied. “He’s been waiting for this trip since he was little.”
“We need you more than he does. This could be deadly for not only our country, but our entire planet. With you and Banner, we could find the Tesseract a lot quicker. So which is it?”
His one good eye glanced at you almost intimidatingly. You knew you didn’t have to accept if you didn’t want to, but Bruce was involved. You were sure your brother would understand if you told him the universe was in jeopardy.
“You can’t tell him.” Nick Fury said hotly after you accepted, as if guessing what you were thinking earlier. “This is classified information.”
Great. Now what would you tell your brother?
“Jason, listen to me!” you said, exasperated with your brother as he stomped out of the room. “I haven’t seen Bruce in years!”
Your brother stopped dead, almost making you crash into him. “Oh, so we plan this trip to Germany for years and you decide to just BLOW ME OFF over BRUCE?!”
“This might be my last chance to see him!” You were getting desperate, there was no way he was going to accept this.
“Fine!! Do whatever the hell you want, Claire! Hope he’s worth it!” he yelled, turning to head out the front door. You silently cursed Nick Fury.
He left without saying goodbye to you, knowing it would hurt your feelings. You called his cell phone multiple times and leaving multiple messages expressing your regret in not coming with him, but to no avail. Looks like your brother would not be talking to you for a while.
You sat in the lab inside the Helicarrier, waiting for what would be the first time you saw Bruce Banner in years. They said he would be arriving soon, along with a few other editions Agent Coulson had mentioned to you during your debriefing. You hadn’t paid much attention to the details.
The sound of a door opening jolted you out of your thoughts. Your head snapped up and your heart jumped into turbo mode. You had imagined this moment for years, but you never knew how relieved and happy you would feel when it finally happened.
Bruce banner walked into the room, soft brown eyes looking around the room before falling on you. He stopped and stared, mixed emotions written on his face.
“Claire…” he said, sounding like he was questioning you. You could tell what he was asking silently. ‘Is everything okay between us? Did I hurt you?’
You took a couple of slow steps toward him, then walked faster until you were jogging. Your arms wrapped around him in a long past due hug. He hugged you back awkwardly, as he had always done any time you two got this close. Bruce was just like that.
“I missed you so much.” You said, voice muffled from your head being buried in his shoulder.
“I missed you too…” he said quietly.
You let go of him, wondering why he was so tense. His voice had sounded preoccupied. Maybe he was considering the Tesseract? If you knew one thing it was that sometimes, Bruce was hard to figure out.
“So they brought you into this too, huh?” he asked after a moment, voice sounding sad, but with an odd tone of bitterness to it.
You nodded. “They informed me that to find the Tesseract they would need the help of some of the best scientists in the field. You were their first pick, but they called me up too. They must of read about our work.” you guessed.
“Or they wanted another incentive to drag me here.” he said bluntly.
You blinked. Didn’t he want to be here? Wasn’t he happy to see you? “Drag you here…?”
“I was tricked into coming. They lured me in.”
“So you’re saying you didn’t want to come back?”
“The last thing I wanted was to come back.”
Your heart lurched painfully. How could you not take that as nothing more than a statement against you? You ignored the stinging in your eyes and tried to control your emotions.
“What’s wrong…?” he sounded genuinely concerned, but you did nothing, keeping your eyes on the floor. Just as your tears threatened to break free the door opened again.
“Oh hey imagine meeting you here.” Tony Stark faked surprise, then grinned, glancing from you to Bruce. “Mind if I stay for a spell? Maybe hack some files, that kind of thing? No? Okay.”
Knowing your conversation with Bruce was over, you turned to head to the computer screens, retreating to the vast recesses of your brain and into the comfort of complex formulas and equations.
It was painful- but not as painful as the crushing despair you would feel several hours later.
There was a phone call. You jumped, head snapping to your cell phone sitting on the bedside table. You got up from where you sat on the small bed in the room that had been assigned to you. Bruce’s was down a couple of doors, to your dismay. Seeing him lately hurt you. As you picked up the device, you reconized the number immediately.It was your brother. You quickly pressed the talk button and shoved it up against your ear.
“Jason?? I’ve been calling you. I know your mad but-“
“Claire!” Your brother answered, his voice cracking with panic and fear. “Something’s wrong!! There’s people running everywhere and someone’s attacking the city-“
“What!?” you screeched. “Where are you??”
“Stuttgart! HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT!?”
“What’s going on!? Jason what happened!?”
“The guy next to me!! He just- dropped dead! Wait, no shit. SHIT. HE HAS AN ARROW IN HIS NECK!!”
“Jason, listen to me. Get out of there now.” you tried keeping your voice steady.
“I can’t!! My guide ran off after this started happening!! I don’t know what to do, Claire!!”
“Oh God. I’m going to die. Shit-“
“I’m too young for this. I can’t do this. There’s no possible way this is happening-“
There was a muffled noise on the other line then a sharp intake of breath.
“Clarie…?” Jason’s voice was eeriely calm.
“What?” you asked, wondering briefly for a moment why he had called you by the nickname he had always fondly used.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You’re my sister and I love you.”
“I’m not mad, it’s okay. I love you too, but why are you saying this now? Jason?”
“You deserve a good guy like Bruce…you deserve the world-“
“Jason, you’re scaring me-“
“There’s an arrow in my chest, Claire.”
Your eyes widened and it suddenly hit you. The muffled noise. “Jason!! You’ll be okay, just get to shelter-“
“-and find someone who can help you-“
You stopped talking, tears already rolling down your cheeks.
Jason spoke in barely a whisper.
“You’re…my..he-…hero. Save…save the world for me…”
You heard him breathe out and a sharp thud of a phone against pavement. Everything was silent. Jason wasn’t breathing anymore. Distant screams were in the background but your world had stopped turning and you could care less.
He couldn’t be dead.
He wasn’t dead there was no way.
No way that your lovable little brother was gone from the world.
Your phone clattered to the floor and your knees gave out, sharp pain shooting through them as they hit the metal floor. Loud, gasping sobs wracked your body as you finally accepted that you would never talk to your brother again. You didn’t even hear the door open.
It was Bruce.You didn’t move. All you could see through your tears was your cell phone, laying forlorn and broken, the backing and battery pack sprawled across the floor. Looking at the phone didn’t help. The sobs got louder as your pain grew more and more unbearable.
Warm arms wrapped around you and you felt Bruce gently move you into his lap, holding you comfortingly against him.In the muddled mess of thoughts in your brain you could only think to say one thing.
“I-I-I’m s-sorry…” you sputtered.
“No, I’m sorry…I…I didn’t know what I said hurt you. I didn’t mean it that way.”
Your thoughts weren’t making sense anymore.
“J-Jason…” a loud sob shook your body as you said his name.
“I know…” the sympathy in his voice lessened the pain, but not by much. “Fury said there was an attack…I knew he was there and I was coming to see you.”
“I….I..can’t d-deal with th-this..I feel dead i-inside..” your voice cracked slightly as you went on. “I-I should have w-went with h-him…then I could have h-helped…”
His arms tightened around you and his hand gently rubbed your back. “Sometimes…you just have to accept what you can’t change, no matter how difficult it is.” His voice was soft, but brimming with pain.
You knew he was speaking from experience. You remembered how much he hated himself after the first incident and after every one from that point. He decided to leave after he put your life in danger. You sat up slightly in his lap, feeling his arms loosen on you, but not let go. He had been through so much. It had to of killed him inside to leave his life and confine himself. His pain was equal to yours.
“Bruce…” you whispered, turning your head to look at him.
“Yeah…?” he whispered back, removing one of his arms to bring his hand up to your face, gently wiping away a tear from your cheek.
“I love you.”
You heard his breath catch in his throat before he sighed slightly, smiling. “I’ve always loved you, Claire.”
He leaned in a little, his eyes meeting yours shyly. ‘You deserve a good guy like Bruce…you deserve the world.’ Jason’s words echoed in your mind as you leaned in to meet his lips softly. Bruce was the man you loved- he was your world, and you were his.
I’m finishing up a one shot~
It has been confirmed that Scarlett Johansson will reprise her role as ‘Black Widow’ in the film in Captain America 2: Winter Soldier.
So stay away from me
The beast is ugly
I feel the rage
And I just can’t hold it
Monster - Skillet
Then don’t hold it, my love. I’m more than ready…